The SmarterCop - New!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

IF TEDDY CAN DO IT, ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE!

Saddam considering high-level position in US Democratic Party? He's got all the lines down, and one foot up on the other democrats: he doesn't just blindly offer support to totalitarian dictators.. he is one!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

THERE GOES JOHNNY!

Centerfielder Johnny Damon has just accepted a four year contract with The Enemy. This is about as bad a betrayal as I have ever seen, and further solidifies the argument for a salary cap. When the Yankees want someone, they can reach right out over the top of everyone else and grab him with the green stuff.

This is pretty darn damaging - the Sox have just lost a premier hitter and a fielder with pretty good range. Considering the attrition they experienced last season, they need all the help they can get. So now not only are they looking a shortstop... they've got a centerfielder to search for as well. Great job, GM twins. Spectacular move, Larry.

Anyhow, I'm left with one burning question.
Are they going to make him get a haircut and a shave?

Monday, December 19, 2005

ELTON'S WORLD

Did you hear that Bill Clinton is making a minute-long video to be played at Elton John's funeral?

The minute-long recording will be played at a cabaret party at the Too2Much nightclub in Soho. A source said: "We were running through rehearsals when the tape was played. We knew Elton had good connections, but to see the ex-US president was something else."

Mr Clinton congratulates Sir Elton, 58, and David Furnish, 42, and says: "If there were more people like Elton, the world would be a better place."


If there were more people like Mr. (and Mrs.?) John, the world would be a much less populated place (at least fewer liberals), no?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I LOVE MSN LIVE LOCAL!

PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SPECIES!

No, I'm not sticking up for Tom Cruise. Like Brooke Shields and countless other responsible thinkers, I think his flamboyant proselytizing of his beliefs in Scientology are more than annoying - for the young and impressionable, they can be dangerous.

Brooke Shields, of course, is referring to Cruise's claim that mental disorders are imaginary (I suppose, then, that would make belief in mental disorders.... a mental disorder?).

Speaking of mental disorders, check out the exchange between Cruise and Shields:

This year he criticised Brooke Shields for her use of anti-depressants to treat post-natal depression.

Shields replied that Cruise "should stick to saving the world from aliens and let women [with] the condition decide what treatment options are best for them".


In Cruise's defense, he wouldn't be very good at saving the world from aliens, especially knowing that his religion believes he is one.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

HILLARY CLINTON - PARIAH?

What? Did you think all the angry liberal invective was aimed squarely at John F*** Kerry?

Now that the Foaming-mad left has their sights on the takeover of the Democratic Party, don't think that they won't attack anything right of Cindy Sheehan! (Some are still stuck in 2000-land). And what's this now? Tim Robbins is telling Hillary she can kiss his rear?

Just thought I'd remind you how much better things are than they seem, folks.