WHY SINJAYA COULD WIN AMERICAN IDOL
It's a messed-up world we live in, isn't it? We've just had singer after decent singer go down, and little Mr. Can'tWaitToScareYouSomeMoreNextWeek, Sinjaya Malakar, isn't even in the blasted bottom THREE! How on earth is that possible? Why? The boy has a voice that sounds like a frog that's being stepped on... the only thing going for him is looks that would make 10-year-old girls cry. So are there really enough 10-year-old girls to keep this boy out of danger?
How about 20-30 something white males?
Let me just say: This is the perfect year for a prank. The American Idol contestants this year leave much to be desired in either or both of the qualities of singing talent and looks/fashion sense. For the first time in years I find myself without anyone to vote for, nor a reason to vote for anyone at all. And I have the funny feeling that for the most part, people across America are as unenthusiastic as me... it seems they'd just as soon leave the voting to someone else.
.. And that someone else happens to be those 20-30 something white males, who are not interested in musical talent or charisma in any way, but merely to make a mockery of one of the highest rated television shows of all time. (NOTE TO PRODUCERS: If you're going to insert the obligatory quirky no-talent geek into the program, make sure there's enough talent around him to allow him to exit quietly, and BEFORE the top 10) The prankster is none other than Howard Stern, queen mother of tastelessness and antidisestablishmentarianism. He's not-so-secretly calling on his listeners to cast their votes for Sanjaya, with the hope of propelling him to the top and a contractually guaranteed record deal. Coupled with website Vote for the Worst, Sanjaya's not only managing to avoid elimination but BEATING SEVERAL CLEARLY MORE TALENTED peers. It is indeed the end of the world.
I predict Sanjaya will be one of the top two. But Lord, will that be a disaster! I fully expect American Idol to do one of two things: 1) completely lose its credibility and reputation for selecting star talent; and 2) inspire incredible voter backlash next season. And who knows... if Simon Cowell does manage to remain true to his promise to leave the show if Sanjaya wins, with him goes the last shred of competence and honesty. The man speaks true to the music; let him go, and heaven knows what kind of incompetency and talentlessness you'll introduce. American Idol will be viewed as more of a joke, and record labels are more apt to ignore America and sign anything closest to discernable talent - if they sign anyone at all.
And if Sanjaya gets anywhere near the final 5, I will have had it until, perhaps, next year.
How about 20-30 something white males?
Let me just say: This is the perfect year for a prank. The American Idol contestants this year leave much to be desired in either or both of the qualities of singing talent and looks/fashion sense. For the first time in years I find myself without anyone to vote for, nor a reason to vote for anyone at all. And I have the funny feeling that for the most part, people across America are as unenthusiastic as me... it seems they'd just as soon leave the voting to someone else.
.. And that someone else happens to be those 20-30 something white males, who are not interested in musical talent or charisma in any way, but merely to make a mockery of one of the highest rated television shows of all time. (NOTE TO PRODUCERS: If you're going to insert the obligatory quirky no-talent geek into the program, make sure there's enough talent around him to allow him to exit quietly, and BEFORE the top 10) The prankster is none other than Howard Stern, queen mother of tastelessness and antidisestablishmentarianism. He's not-so-secretly calling on his listeners to cast their votes for Sanjaya, with the hope of propelling him to the top and a contractually guaranteed record deal. Coupled with website Vote for the Worst, Sanjaya's not only managing to avoid elimination but BEATING SEVERAL CLEARLY MORE TALENTED peers. It is indeed the end of the world.
I predict Sanjaya will be one of the top two. But Lord, will that be a disaster! I fully expect American Idol to do one of two things: 1) completely lose its credibility and reputation for selecting star talent; and 2) inspire incredible voter backlash next season. And who knows... if Simon Cowell does manage to remain true to his promise to leave the show if Sanjaya wins, with him goes the last shred of competence and honesty. The man speaks true to the music; let him go, and heaven knows what kind of incompetency and talentlessness you'll introduce. American Idol will be viewed as more of a joke, and record labels are more apt to ignore America and sign anything closest to discernable talent - if they sign anyone at all.
And if Sanjaya gets anywhere near the final 5, I will have had it until, perhaps, next year.
posted by Pietro @ 6:29 AM
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