A LETTER TO GEORGE
Dear Mr. Boss Darth Vader Mr. Steinbrenner,
Please accept my warm regards and a hearty congratulations for your 2-game winning streak against my Boston Red Sox this week. Having said that, I'm going to have to wish you good luck as well, for you and your billions of dollars can't save you from the consequences of your actions.
Yes, George, there are consequences to being the biggest spender in baseball. You see, each day one of the old fogies who you pull out of retirement keeps the bench warm because of a nagging injury.... each day that one of your time-tested veterans buckles, physically, under the pressure of your thumb (and who wouldn't, considering all you've invested, sire?).... is a day spent throwing all that green into the perpetually flushing toilet known as the Disabled List.
Sure your folks try to look professional and polished, marching like seasoned troops under a mad dictator. Sure they fear your wrath. But they fear it so much, they're willing to risk life, limb, and career to do it. Money be cursed.
You lost Hideki. For a while there, you lost one of the 'Roid Twins. Jorge's about to taste the tainted water. Carl Pavano's the Pitcher In Name Only. Captain Caveman's broken toe's at least kept him from running into walls.
Meanwhile, Old Man Johnson's a mess, Melkie is lost in the outfield, and all of a sudden the 'winning machine' looks more like a rusty scrap of sheet metal.
George, if there's one thing you can take home from this, it's this: no matter how hard you hammer your fist on your room-length desk, you can't buy a miracle... and this time, instead of your money walking your team to the playoffs, you're in desperate need of one. Again, good luck.
Sincerely,
A Smarter Sox Fan.
Please accept my warm regards and a hearty congratulations for your 2-game winning streak against my Boston Red Sox this week. Having said that, I'm going to have to wish you good luck as well, for you and your billions of dollars can't save you from the consequences of your actions.
Yes, George, there are consequences to being the biggest spender in baseball. You see, each day one of the old fogies who you pull out of retirement keeps the bench warm because of a nagging injury.... each day that one of your time-tested veterans buckles, physically, under the pressure of your thumb (and who wouldn't, considering all you've invested, sire?).... is a day spent throwing all that green into the perpetually flushing toilet known as the Disabled List.
Sure your folks try to look professional and polished, marching like seasoned troops under a mad dictator. Sure they fear your wrath. But they fear it so much, they're willing to risk life, limb, and career to do it. Money be cursed.
You lost Hideki. For a while there, you lost one of the 'Roid Twins. Jorge's about to taste the tainted water. Carl Pavano's the Pitcher In Name Only. Captain Caveman's broken toe's at least kept him from running into walls.
Meanwhile, Old Man Johnson's a mess, Melkie is lost in the outfield, and all of a sudden the 'winning machine' looks more like a rusty scrap of sheet metal.
George, if there's one thing you can take home from this, it's this: no matter how hard you hammer your fist on your room-length desk, you can't buy a miracle... and this time, instead of your money walking your team to the playoffs, you're in desperate need of one. Again, good luck.
Sincerely,
A Smarter Sox Fan.
posted by Pietro @ 1:14 PM
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